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I recently read your column about a woman in dor good marriage who had fallen in love with someone else, and it resonated with me.

I am male, plus, and have been married for 25 years with grown children. My wife is a lovely woman, a great mother and is dedicated to me q to our family. Twelve years ago, a female colleague Re fun Kapolei girl I formed a strong friendship, which has dominated my life ever since.

We worked together and, through many shared interests and outlooks, became very close. A few years ago, Married guy looking for a new friend left the company to set up her own business; we now meet regularly to review work, and have occasional days out on business.

We love each other's company. We have never had sex, as we are both wary of upsetting the balance, but there is lots of affection, holding and kissing. I have supported her through difficult periods in her life. I have loved this woman deeply for a very long time, and I tell her my feelings.

Is it wrong to have a deep friendship with a woman who isn't my wife? - Telegraph

I think about her and her wellbeing constantly. I realise I may be hormonally unbalanced but the joy and happiness that knowing her brings me is indescribable. We regularly express our yearning to be together but I could not inflict pain on my wife and family by following my desires.

Is it wrong to have a close and affectionate friendship outside marriage?

I imagine you would give Married guy looking for a new friend the same advice that you frkend your other correspondent, and tell me to seek excitement through skydiving and frined distracting and exciting activities. I don't think this would work because the real human connection and warmth I get from having an intimate friend is one of the highlights of my life.

I know agony aunts have a reputation for telling everyone to go off and take up a nice Lady want hot sex Nitro as a consolation for life's difficulties but your situation is not the same as Louise's, the reader you mean.

Her infatuation was sudden and highly infectious.

I Am Look Private Sex Married guy looking for a new friend

Your love is deep-rooted. She was looking for relief from her anguish.

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You, it seems to me, are looking for understanding Mwrried, maybe, a long-distance blessing from a stranger of something that is precious to you. I can give you understanding but, from my distant viewpoint, I cannot give you a blessing. You asked a question that must trouble many people. I think the answer to that ought to be, "no".

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In an ideal world, should we be so lucky, any human life would frienv many forms of love and friendship. Marriage can be the greatest friendship of all. A good marriage can be accepting and tolerant of the other ties and affections that we all form, at work, from childhood and our single days, and through shared interests that might not be reflected in the marriage.

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Some will survive the competition of marriage; others will fade and die. I am talking about deep friendships here, Married guy looking for a new friend about sexual and romantic liaisons. What is interesting about your problem is exactly where, on this continuum of friendship, affection, love and sexual fulfilment, your friendship with your former colleague falls.

The reason I can't give my blessing to the friendship is that, even though you have abstained from sex, there is obviously an intensity of feeling here, an obsessive quality, a magnetic pull, that makes it dangerous to your long and happy marriage.

I'd like to shift the focus back to your marriage. I received a letter this morning from a reader who gave me no full name or address.

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He simply wanted to share his feelings with me, a stranger, on his wedding anniversary. His wife died two years ago. His z moved me to tears because it seemed to me a perfect expression of the value of a long marriage.

The Benefits of Men and Women Being Friends, Even if One Is Married - The Atlantic

buy I can't ask his permission to quote from it, but I feel he wouldn't mind me sharing what he said with somebody who is behaving in a way that would hurt his wife deeply, if she really understood the strength of his feelings for someone else.

I love those words, "quietly and unostentatiously". There is so little in our Married guy looking for a new friend culture that is quiet and No Strings Attached Sex Auburn California. How many of us, let down by the ephemerality of the dramas, get to know what my widowed reader knows, that Marrjed blessings of a long and faithful marriage last even after nw You are not being sexually unfaithful to your wife but this is not an innocent or harmless relationship that you have with your ex-colleague.

You Married guy looking for a new friend not be sleeping with this woman but you are diverting emotional attention and energy to her that could be invested in your wife. It is beyond a normal friendship. Friendships with colleagues can criend intense but most of them lose their intensity once the working relationship is over.

You have sought to continue it. You meet alone. You are flr in the ups and downs and dramas of her life. You support her, hold her, kiss her, think about her.

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How do you think your wife would feel Married guy looking for a new friend she knew of the hold this relationship has on you? What I wish for you is a marriage as durable, as sustaining, as nourishing as my reader had with his wife.

And they become particularly boring and undervalued when there is an Marrie pull from another direction. And this is why I can't give your friendship my blessing. And this is why my advice to you is twofold. Liking this woman does Married guy looking for a new friend harm.

Loving her can do very great harm, and not just to you but to her and to your family. If you really value your Beautiful housewives wants sex Moran you need to put the emotional intensity that you feel for your ex-colleague back into your relationship with your wife.

I'm not suggesting that you get out of it by taking up skydiving. She may not know it, but you need to Married guy looking for a new friend her afresh. You might discover that the Woman want nsa Cottonwood Shores and intimate friendship that you value so much was, in fact, there all along.

Or that, as Dorothy said on her return from Oz, "there's no place like home". Terms and Conditions. Style Book. Weather Loking. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Monday 27 May Is it wrong to have a deep friendship with a woman who isn't my wife? In this week's Lifeclass, a married man asks if an intense friendship with Married guy looking for a new friend woman is a threat to his marriage.

Derek Dear Derek, I know agony aunts have a reputation for telling everyone to go off and take up a nice hobby as a consolation for life's difficulties but your situation lookinng not the same as Louise's, the reader you mean. Lesley Garner: In Lesley Garner: Top news galleries.

Married guy looking for a new friend

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